If I could write about how I feel right now, it'll probably take a few books. I wish there was someone I could talk to about this. Ryan (either of them), Christian (but I'm sure he doesn't want to hear any of it), Steven (I'm sure he's tired of hearing it), Viet (I don't want to rain on his good moods) Brian...but I'm tired of disappointing him.
I just want someone to listen to me, reassure me. But that's life.
God. The only thing I can thing of right now is the last day of school. Andrew was there for me. While I cried so hard, the hardest sobs I had ever cried. I wish...I wish I could talk to him again. I know he has problems, but..he's always been there for me, and I was never there for him. Maybe I picked Andrew because I knew he'd understand why I was crying so hard, why it meant SO much to me...
I don't know anymore. I just wish this twisted dance will end.
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