Earlier, I was thinking about this one question and I just want to see what people miss.
What do you miss?
Sure, you can say you miss a significant other, or you miss a friend you haven't seen in a while or you miss some other person. I'm looking more for emotional things you miss. Or an object.
Like for me. I miss the feeling of being satisfied. I feel so unsatisfied, and I have a few theories why.
1. I know that there is no such thing as forever, and I have stopped living in my childhood fantasies of where "forever" would be the best thing ever.
2. I hate it when people lie to me, and when they do lie to me, it leave me sad, disappointed and dissatisfied. Sometimes it's almost pathological. Lies upon lies upon lies.
3. Right now, I'm pretty sure I'm dissatisfied with my life especially since I've been rejected from two colleges, one of which my family and I were sure to have gotten into. Just thinking about these two rejections brings tears to my eyes. I had big hopes and dreams that I'd go off to somewhere far away, and I'd meet these new people and things would be amazing. But now I realize something. That may not happen. I got overconfident, saying things like "who wouldn't want me in their school?" Then after the rejections I got so down. It became "I wish I took more APs. I wish I was smarter. How can I compete against all these other people? How can I compete against the people who took like, 10 APs throughout high school? The people who have to 2000+ SAT score? The people who are in a sport, the people who do thousands of hours of community service, the people who are club officers, the people who are musically talented, how can I compete against that?" The truth is, I can't. I should've done so much more, I should've used up my full potential, but I didn't. Sometimes I think about all the people I should've met and what they're missing out on since they've never met me or vice versa. Sometimes I wonder if I would've met someone if I chose a different path.
4. My 5 hours/ 5 and a half hours of work at Cinequest went to waste. I got my shirt, yeah. But I didn't have time to watch any of the films they were playing, and it's disappointing especially since I had two tickets for the encore performances.
I guess I'll write more later. Who knows? I certainly don't know.
What do you miss?
Sure, you can say you miss a significant other, or you miss a friend you haven't seen in a while or you miss some other person. I'm looking more for emotional things you miss. Or an object.
Like for me. I miss the feeling of being satisfied. I feel so unsatisfied, and I have a few theories why.
1. I know that there is no such thing as forever, and I have stopped living in my childhood fantasies of where "forever" would be the best thing ever.
2. I hate it when people lie to me, and when they do lie to me, it leave me sad, disappointed and dissatisfied. Sometimes it's almost pathological. Lies upon lies upon lies.
3. Right now, I'm pretty sure I'm dissatisfied with my life especially since I've been rejected from two colleges, one of which my family and I were sure to have gotten into. Just thinking about these two rejections brings tears to my eyes. I had big hopes and dreams that I'd go off to somewhere far away, and I'd meet these new people and things would be amazing. But now I realize something. That may not happen. I got overconfident, saying things like "who wouldn't want me in their school?" Then after the rejections I got so down. It became "I wish I took more APs. I wish I was smarter. How can I compete against all these other people? How can I compete against the people who took like, 10 APs throughout high school? The people who have to 2000+ SAT score? The people who are in a sport, the people who do thousands of hours of community service, the people who are club officers, the people who are musically talented, how can I compete against that?" The truth is, I can't. I should've done so much more, I should've used up my full potential, but I didn't. Sometimes I think about all the people I should've met and what they're missing out on since they've never met me or vice versa. Sometimes I wonder if I would've met someone if I chose a different path.
4. My 5 hours/ 5 and a half hours of work at Cinequest went to waste. I got my shirt, yeah. But I didn't have time to watch any of the films they were playing, and it's disappointing especially since I had two tickets for the encore performances.
I guess I'll write more later. Who knows? I certainly don't know.
I hate the college game. We're all working to attain all these percentages, points and scores just so we can let a bunch of colleges determine whether or not we're worth anything or not.
ReplyDeleteDon't let them get to you. Screw this annual college sweepstakes game. We all aren't at full potential or anything. You don't have to do sports, or compete in music, or do a huge amount of community service, or be a club officer, or have any of those conventional marks of achievement to be the coolsauce girl you are.